I saw this post from a friend the other day, and I thought it might resonate with you:
I’m a happy, positive, and optimistic guy, but today I’m Struggling.
This is a vie for honesty and vulnerability. As a man we are told its best to buck up, Keep your feelings to yourself and “grow some balls”. That’s all fine and dandy but men do have moments of fear, insecurity, heart issues, and it’s all very real. We are told to just deal with it, and it’s hurting us. There’s a line between vulnerability and being responsible for your issues. It’s what you do with those feelings/issues that make you a real man.
“Men we need to fight for the survival of masculinity.”
Being “manly” is a term that unfortunately is changing in our society. Going too far either way makes for either, a “feminine” man, or you end up with a self hating, angry basket case that can’t keep himself together. (I almost got in a tussle with one at Olive Garden last week as he was expressing “his feelings” on the “stupid brats” we were with.)
I have days, like today, of fear, insecurity, loneliness, and for sure thoughts of throwing in the towel. It’s sometimes a fight to wake up and keep moving forward towards the goals that I’ve set for myself and future family. What keeps me going is remembering the responsibility I have been given to do what I’m suppose to do. Now, I’m going to continue my day as if I’m not feeling these feelings and project to the world I’m a strong responsible man who’s conquering this planet. When the fight on the inside doesn’t always look as confident. I don’t have it all together and I’m ok with that, we are all on a journey and that’s what makes life so adventurous! When your going about your day always remember the outside typically tells a different story than what’s on the inside. If your capable take a moment to stop and ask someone how their heart is doing, it could serve you both well.
Sometimes there seems to be a war between vulnerability and masculinity. But it’s a false war.
True masculinity requires vulnerability. If we can’t be honest with ourselves and then open up into honest communication with those close to us, we’re ultimately left with nothing.
If you are only 50% vulnerable with me – if you only allow me to see 50% of who you are – I can only love 50% of you. When we refuse to open ourselves up were are disallowing those close to us from fully loving us. And we are forcing ourselves to endure our struggles alone, when that was never what God intended.
It’s okay to put your game face on. It’s okay to feel the turmoil inside and do what needs to be done to meet your responsibilities. That’s part of being a man.
But you weren’t designed to wear your game face 24/7. You have to allow yourself to get real with what’s happening on the inside, because like it or not, your external life will be driven by what’s happening internally.
Make vulnerability a priority.